I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
