what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
