then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
