dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
