the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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