your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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