return my video game
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this boner is exhausting
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
