One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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