We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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