just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
