I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
