youre lurking in front of me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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