that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
