the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
