i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
