it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize