so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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