I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
