I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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