This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think people are normalizing furries
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
