Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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