either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
