You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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