maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
