I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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