So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
