i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
