last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
