She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
