before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
