just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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