Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
