There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
