I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
