batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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