Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
