i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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