How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
