2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
