Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
