Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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