I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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