Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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