after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize