She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
