Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
