I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
