her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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