I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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