Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
