WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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