oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
