He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
