If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
