Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
