dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
