In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize