I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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