Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
