i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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